In preparation of this upcoming surgery I have to meet a number of professionals in the medical field for them to assess my complete program, my operation, healing process and guidance after.
I have already had blood tests doe, another day at the bloodsuckers department of the hospital...lol, recall, I was just in there last year and they pricked me so many times in arms and hands that they had no other options left anymore than to stick me in the feet. All my veins were already damaged in the arms and hands. So wasn't looking too much forward to this time, but all went fine, a little more painful than usual, but they hit then source with the first needle prick, which was good news in itself.
Then I had to get my lungs tested, had to go and blow in a machine which tested my lung capacity, and passed that with flying colors. The machine reminded me of an alcohol test (which they might have tested as well without telling me, lol...), but have never done such an alcohol test on the road, only seen it on TV, but that's okay, don't need the experience again, hospital version was quite satisfactory and I will count it as enough experience for now, thank you very much!
After that I had an appointment in the plastic surgeon' office. Was really wondering a bit what they would be doing there with me. I had concluded that as I would be losing a significant amount of weight over only one year, I would probably have an excess of skin which might need treatment of a plastic surgeon, I didn't know, so was kind of curious.
Turned out they just wanted to take pictures of me, hey (!) my very first "professional" photo shoot! I felt I was going places! So first a full frontal, then a profile, which I thought probably would be the less flattering of the two as my belly does reach beyond my belt buckle.
And then naked... What? Yep, well, almost then.... First time a woman other than my wife asked me to strip in front of her, I was alone in the room with her. Apparently I was smiling at the situation, cause she started smiling as well and asked me why I was smiling. She probably also noticed my face getting as red as her hair as I now stood in front of her, with only my boxer shorts.
She sat in front of me, on a barstool kind of chair, the swiveling kind, and suddenly reached forward to pull my boxers down. Yes, she did...ok, so not all the way down you perverts, she stopped under the curly hairline, but above the firehouse by means of a speaking...she said she wanted to see as much as possible on the picture. I though, yeah, if the roles had been the other way around I probably would have used the same excuse, professionally speaking of course!
After she had taken the pics, I dressed and le the room. They were doing some renovations on that floor and those guys saw this redhead nurse leave the room first, me minutes after with a red head and shirt probably still hanging out a bit.... I just saw their thoughts in their eyes!
Mind you, the red headed lady wasn't exactly miss universe 2012 eh... Well, like I am not mr. Universe either, you know! In this hospital the best looking women walking around (whenever my wife is not around, that speaks for itself!) seem to be the female doctors. The nurses are almost all extremely friendly, very helpful, most are very good at their jobs but not the soap series lookers of a nurse...
Last step for me that day was the anesthesiologist (thank god for spell checkers). Waited in the hallway for a good 40 minutes, thought after a while the doc had maybe turned the wrong valve in the office and gotten himself to fall asleep. But finally a door opened and another patient came out, door stayed open, and I was called in. Ok, so here's my luck, the first more than average good looking person I get the deal with and it's my anesthesiologist ...just my luck... Next times I am going to interact with her i will be sleeping away the hours, much to the joy and delight of my wife of course.
Got some good news and some bad news from her. Good news was that she had gotten results dorm my earlier tests that day and that all seems to be very a-ok! We are set to GO for the operation. Then she explained the procedure of the anesthesiology, what they will do to me during the operation, what tubes they will insert where etc.... And what to expect when I wake up, like the tube in my penis !!! Hello? Yes, what? Keeping my cool,she explains she, or rather her "team", which I now envision as a big tall hairy guy in my nightmares, or even two of them, will insert a tube into my penis so I don't have to get up to pee immediately after the operation. I nod with probably a clowneske expression on my face as to say:"but of course!"'.... Any other questions? I quickly said no and left the office before she comes with ideas where to put even more tubes yes! I am now expecting my wife having called that doc before my visit to scare the well, "P" out of me... I also looked for the candid camera and was ready to sign the re
Lease document for them to show my clip....but nothing of the sort...a tube it will be!
So that was my adventure at the hospital, the day before we left on holidays. Yes, I am with my wife in the Caribbean for the moment, but days after I get back, I still have appointment for a gastroscopy, oh I am so looking forward to that...NOT! Also scheduled to meet a psychologist, the bets are now on to see who leaves that office in a better mental state after our meeting. I have an insider tip for you if you are a betting person!
And then, my favorite people in the world, I am also due to meet with a dietician. Oh my God, have I had fun with those people in my younger years. In school we had a yearly visit to a doctor and a talk with a dietician was on my schedule eve time. The funniest part was to see the dietician fatter and fatter every year, and her admin people always winked at me as if to say "you survived her nonsense for another year?".
So stick around, fun times ahead, will keep you up to date!
:-)
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