I made it!

"Ca vas?"
A guy is staring into my face.
It seems like my operation is over and done with! I am awake! I made it!
I have absolutely no clue what was done to me, how it went, how long it took and even exactly where i was. Somehow though, i had enough sense already to realize that i am in the recovery room.
Way too close for comfort, that male nurse's head is hanging over mine to see if i am doing alright. I mean, he is cleanly shaven and such, but still. He looked a bit like from a French B-class movie, the kind of sucker who will have a hard time during the whole movie, yuh know? He has a friendly look, the nice guy, slightly rounded cheeks, receding hairline at young age type?

Anyhow, i decided to ask two pieces of information which were missing in my head, how did the operation go and what time is it? He smiled and i thought, go on then, tell me? He said that all went well, no complications and it was now 1.30 PM. Wow, i thought, that was longer than expected, well, slightly longer at least. He did say though that all went well. He must have seen the enquiring face expression i had, so he continued explaining me that they used robots, remember? I said i did remember. He continued explaining that it can take up to two hours just to get the robots in the correct positions and an hour just to get the robots back out and close up the holes. The rest is the actual working time to carry out the surgery.
With my cloudy head i did some calculations and concluded that the total timing wasn't that bad after all (mind you, if my head weren't cloudy, i think my calculation results would probably have been the same, lol, not exactly my specialty to do simple calculations).

In the meantime he started to make notes at the foot end of my bed, i assume to make note that i look like a sucker from a b-class movie who thinks that i am A-Ok but in fact the worst is still to come, the stinging pains from the operation, the unwillingness to move any part of the body to avoid further pains.
But curiously, i was not feeling any pain at all, nothing. Decided to move limbs, even the waist a little bit and i didn't feel anything. This was great!

Ha! Ok,  2.15 PM suddenly, guess i dozed off? Still in recuperation room. Am i really awake or am i dreaming? My male nurse is nowhere to be found, instead i have another gentleman making notes at by bed. He really looks like George Costanza from the Seinfeld show, and not only in looks, but also in behavior.

Fun part about just lying there is just to watch everything that is going on. George is playing around with the female nurses. I believe George is probably a higher level nurse than his female counter parts, cause all the ladies seems to "adore" him,they laugh at his jokes, one of them even almost rubs up against him. My bet is that he decides the shifts, who works when! Has to be, because he lacks any other typical attraction to women.
He asks me if i am Ok, if nod yes, but i make him clear that i am feeling kind of thirsty.  Now, i fully realized that i would not get anything to drink, but i was hoping for something to wet my lips. He kindly offered me some pineapple ice cubes to suck on. I was rather hoping for a wet towel, or one of those mini sprays with just water to wet the lips.  I kindly reused the pineapple ice cubes as my brain said not to swallow anything in this operated stomach of mine. I didn't know if my prof would have appreciated me to melt those sweet things into my stomach at that point, anyhow, decided to wait until i am in the room then.
3PM, hey, had another snooze there it seems like. Hmmm, where's my brother? I recall telling him he could come and check me in the recovery room once i was out, but didn't see him. I was quite confident that if he could have, he would have, so they probably didn't let him in. I was just hoping he got the news about me being Ok.

I don't know how big the whole recovery area is, i estimated about 30 beds big. It had a central office, almost like a fish tank, but with high furniture in the middle, so i could not really see through the office to the other side, but i assumed the other side had as many beds as on this side, approximately. That central office looked like the nerve centre where all the technology, hooked up to patients, came together, a bit Star Trek like. Mind you, have a look at this little movie we found online, it is a graphical explanation of what the operation I went through looks like, what the prof has done to me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4vREUUv9Lw

Now, isn't that beginning to like Star trek as well? Only one step missing, it's the small handheld machine the docs in Star Trek use that makes a buzzing sound and which they repeatedly hover over the patient's body in order to diagnose and sometimes even heal the patient. I am convinced we are not more than a decade away from that now, lol.

Anyhow,the recovery room didn't look too busy today, i could only confirm 3, maybe 4 beds being occupied, one being mine of course. So the staff had some time to chat, a shift change was taking place. Plenty nurses coming to talk to George Costanza, the suspected shift manager, some with happy faces, some with more worried faces possibly trying to convince Costanza to switch their shifts. I thought, now, imagine being a nurse and wanted a shift change because your old aunt is sick at home...it would suck if your supervisor then tells you to just bring in the sickly aunt into hospital to get checked out, no? So that's one less excuse you can use as a nurse. And by the way, am sure that Costanza would not be the easiest to be convinced.

Ah, three new guys walking around, two of them looking like docs and one intern. How can you tell the difference? The walk, the dress code.... The intern guy had all the bells and whistles on, stethoscope around the neck, badges all over the place including name tag, looking at patient's records, including mine at the foot end. I thought i would still check and asked him if i could get something to wet my lips. He told me he would check with my nurse, which would be Costanza at that point. Check, intern !!! Kept following him with my eyes, he was just walking around, more lost at what to do, he never talked to anybody re my dry lips, oh well.

The two other new guys were more looking like doctors, one had a mouth protection on, like as what they have when they are in the operating room, so there is why i made the assumption. Both men were now in a discussion, about five meters from my bed. I thought they were discussion the last operation they did, with all the complications involved, but nothing was less true. One was coaching the other on how to prepare to run a marathon. Two nurses joined the discussion a while later. They were talking so much that another snooze was out for me, lol, but i didn't mind, i was just counting the minutes till i would be rolled back to my room.

3.45 PM , i'm outta here! I get clearance for take-off, i can be rolled back to my room upstairs. They disconnect all that was still connected to me, and that was way more than i realized, the driver was called and he started maneuvering my bed to head for the corridor, out i went! Rolling through the corridors we reached the familiar elevators, back to level 9, the penthouse suite...hahaha

Reached upstairs, back into MY corridor, rolling towards MY room. Felt like the closest thing to home, to comfort. And who is sticking his head around the corner from by the waiting area? My brother! So nice to see him, he is smiling too as the driver takes a perfect swing to turn my bed back into my room. And who else do i get to greet? Mr. Grumpy, my neighbor in the room. Coming to think of it, after seeing "Costanza"  from Seinfeld downstairs in the recovery room, Mr grumpy, my neighbor really fits in perfectly with the description of "the ugly naked guy" from the series Friends. Oh, i am terrible! I wonder what my neighbor baptized me as? Nothing probably, he doesn't seem like the most humorous guy, his loss!

Well, peeps, operation is done, am back in my room, recovery can start. I hope that it runs as smooth as the operation itself, i am sure it will. I suspect my prof has done a terrific job, we will wait and see. From readings before i had already learned that i would not get anything to eat nor drink for a whole probable 36 hours, only drips into my veins, painkillers, and hopefully the mouth spray to wet my lips.

I am thankful to be back in MY room, happy to have my brother there and longing to inform my wife who is still flying across the ocean that all went well, that i made it!

Psychology 101

Today I am 23 days away from my operation. Thought it would be a good time to start the countdown :-)

From what I have already learned is that the weeks and months post operation are not exactly days and nights to look forward to. But then again, no post operation is exactly a fun time for anybody, so that didn't come as a surprise. In fact, there have been little or no surprises in my online research thus far, except then maybe the pre- and post operation pictures of people who have gone through the procedure. Some are truly not recognizable, very strange how much weight some have lost.

Again although no surprise, the diet after the operation is quite strict, no sugar, plenty protein, daily vitamins to take as extras for the body as the digestive tract has less possibilities to extract the necessary vitamins in the natural way. Apparently a lot of drinking will be needed as well, just like have seen some people do at Carnival, but in my case it will only be water, decaffeinated tea and that will be about it from what I understand so far.

One thing I have been told to watch out for is something called "gastric dumping". As the operation actually makes the stomach smaller, it can of course contain less food than before. If one eats too much, and the food doesn't fit in the pouch anymore, then the food gets pushed through into the intestines, but undigested of course....and that is a very painful experience apparently with stomach cramps.

I am sure that during the days immediately after my operation, I will care little for what, when and how much I get to eat, the weeks afterwards will be the challenge though. Apparently, that is one of the reasons why they employ the services of a psychologist on the team, to guide the patients through the period of behavioral change. People who are obese like me frequently would turn to food or sugars when they are happy or sad, when they want to party or rather cool down, when they are in company or when they want to be by themselves. It really is no different in my opinion to the person who smokes cigarettes or even worse, or the people who drink beers and stronger, or the people who become violent because they have no other exhaust for their energy or loneliness.

The psychologist comes in to make sure I can find other ways than food to deal with all of the above, but not including any other unhealthy vices as replacements of course. And that is important, because when I stopped smoking, that is when I gained weight after months. and continuing for years because I snacked instead of smoking. A positive note, is that they do some handholding to make sure the operation of this gastric bypass is not just the cutting and healing, but a process which is managed years after as well.

In fact, when speaking to the prof he told me already that I am due back in the hospital for check-ups on a very regular base after the operation, not just to check the physical healing, but also the emotional handling of it all. It starts two weeks post operation, then every month for the next six, then 6 months later again, then yearly for the next 5 years post operation. He told me though that most appointments are made way ahead of time, and in years 3,4, and 5 it is not uncommon that people don't show up or call in much later with much apologies, but they just forgot they ever had the operation, their new life is by then felt as "a completely normal life", just to show that normal life will return, but weighing less.

Do some people put back on weight? I have heard some do, but do not have any examples or references to fall back on at this time. I have heard of friends of peeps who have gone through the procedure that they were glad that their friends had put on a little bit of weight again, just to fill the deep pockets in the face as they looked like deflated balloons...lol...I am sure it will not go that far with me.

Ok, having shared that with you all, I am ready for the psychologist next week Friday, bring him on...lol ! You can post in the comments how many rounds you think this encounter will take and who will win...hahaha, wohoho...weeeee....YO... wow! Yipieee! ;-)

My 2nd life, thank you very much!

The whole idea of this intervention I am going to be going through is to start my second life.

I was actually quite fascinated by what my professor told me during my interview and questions and answers session with him. He explained thAt at one point in my life I would have deviated from my normal life expectancy in years as I grew bigger and fatter and more obese. For instance, if I had never become obese, suppose my life expectancy in "normal" circumstances would have been 80 years, then now after being obese it might have been diminished quite a bit, to let's say 70 or maybe even less years.
By doing this gastric bypass surgery, and by then losing most of the excess weight in the months and years following, I would actually return to my original life expectancy, as if I had never been obese or overweight in my life. In my example that would mean I can expect to become 80 again.
It means, and he clarified, that there is actually no "penalty" for having been obese or for having eaten improperly in previous years.
Today is Ash-Wednesday in the Catholic religion, as I am writing this article. And I  can't help but think of the forgiveness part in this religion. You know what I mean... if you have behaved bad in the past, although maybe not always completely  through your own fault, you can be forgiven if you decide to confess. I kind of feel a bit the same way now, I have confessed that I am overweight, that I have not been eating correctly, that I have splurged when I probably shouldn't have, but at the same time it was also my body type that played a role as well. And now that I have confessed, I kind of get forgiveness from my own body, and it will sustain me till the day I was originally destined to die. Kind of neat, if you come to think of it!
But what kind of a life will I be going back to? From what I understand, those first days, weeks, if not months after the operation are not exactly times to look forward to. Painful days ahead, learning a new diet, teaching myself new habits, physical pain. But I have been through al of that already once before, although not all together. Stopping smoking has been an episode of new habits, new ways of looking at life after the cancer sticks in the hand to rely on. Having had the gal bladder removed last year also gave me an idea of the physical pain to be endured, and it is honestly all manageable, or should I call it tolerable?
I have found some nice people Twitter and other websites who have been giving me some previews of what to expect, 1 month post operation and 3.5 months post operation. Nothing again really to look forward to, except then what I keep seeing on the other websites, the before and after pics of people who went through the procedure. Wow if you see those results! It is even a bit of a scary thought seeing myself as a new me after this procedure. One year from now I think that some people who may know me very well may not even recognize me if I change like the people I saw on some of those websites.
So what am I looking forward to then? I am looking forward to move around like any other average person my age, do sports and maybe even excel in one or two again. I look forward to going into stores and buy clothing from the rack, knowing my own new size and them actually having it in stock! I am looking forward to buying a suit without major modifications. I look forward to being less tired, with more energy, although I understand that in the weeks and months post operation it may be even a big challenge to find any energy at all.
In other words, I feel like I am now prepping for a second life in some form, I am being offered a chance to change another one of my bad habits, I just hope I take full advantage of it, that my character proves to hold up just like when I quit my nicotine habit 13 years ago.
Wish me luck :-)

Other considerations - the genes factor

Other considerations -the Genes thing

There have been some other considerations in coming to the conclusion that gastric bypass may be the solution to my current and possible, or rather probable future problems. When my father read my first blog post he said that I should mention him as well, in fact he wrote me:"You can, you know!".

Physically, body-wise, I am almost a copy of my father, and don't understand me wrong, I am proud of it. In fact, we both are in some ways copies of his father too, my grandfather. We are not too tall, but not exactly short, broad shoulders, wide hands, short fingers, with a waist and middle of the body which expands further than most. We look big, but not morbidly obese like some of the people who are seen on those shows.
This body type though brings a number of problems with it, exactly those which I mentioned that my prof warned me for.... Diabetes at later age, blood pressure problems and with those two as a nice base, a whole list of other problems tend to emerge.

My dad has worked hard his whole life, spent many hours at work every day and now that he is at an age where he should be able to profit from those years of work, his body gave up on him, step by step, with diabetes and blood pressure being the major players. He now has to spend half a day a week just preparing his pills for the week to come, one pill sometimes to negate the negative effects of the previous one. He sits at the table, with lists and boxes of pills and fills plastic containers with his morning, lunch and evening pills for the week to come. He in fact takes pills five times a day, try to beat that!
On top of all of the problems he has, he also has been suffering from sleep apnea for the last two decades. In fact, he was one of the people in the early batches treated by professors for this disease. When he was diagnosed, sleep apnea was not as commonly know as it is today. It basically means he has to sleep with a machine next to his bed which forces wind through the windpipe, as he would not be able to breathe by himself whilst asleep and probably suffocate in his sleep. And here we go withe the genes again, apparently my great grandmother was diabetic as well, as is my father's sister, as was my cousin.
My father also has to take pills which he has adopted as his P-pills, which have him urinating frequently during most of the day with only like ten minute breaks in-between toilet visits. He has to take those P-pills two days out of three. That makes that he now has to plan his week accordingly for anything else he wants to do, including shopping, doctors visits, visiting friends or even have friends visiting him. He now has one grandson, and he and my mother have the grandson at home for one day a week, but even that he he has to plan ahead of time, it really isn't all that easy.
And then there is his heart, had problems since birth with taht one, but also suffered from irregulat heart beats and high bloodpressure at times.
I totally admire how he keeps this life going, and I realize very well that if it were just for himself he may have given up already, but the fighter he has always been, and the provider for the family he has been, he doesn't give up that easily. He wants to be there for all of us, including his only grandchild, grandson. We all love him dearly and hope he sticks around for many more.

But emotions aside, what I see in my dad now, will probably not be far from my reality unless I change things for myself. So now I have some choices, some options presented to me.

To the contrary of popular belief, I do not eat big heaps of food, in fact, I eat very little and may even skip meals from time to time if I am not hungry. I will wholeheartedly admit I eat "wrong" though, I eat what isn't the healthiest of foods and I am also a sugar junkie, carbonated rinks, candy, chocolate and the finer combinations of all as well. So obviously, option number one is to cut all of that and then I will lose the weight. Easier said than done, and probably impossible if "we" are totally honest about that. Have done it in the past, but gradually all comes back, after months or even years.

Do more sports, people tell me. Yes, an option, but not easy either as doing sports with my body isn't that easy to start with, and injuries would become plenty as I am quite competitive when I do sport. And sport makes me hungry, so vicious circle if you ask me, and not my solution.

But to be honest, in cutting all the good stuff out of my life and adding plenty sports, eating only what is healthy, I think i probably could ( ok, let's be honest, I KNOW I could) achieve the same results over time as the gastric bypass surgery could bring me.

Two things though:

1) I know somebody who lives that way and although he seems happy with it, I really don't think I could be, the way he lives.

2) One of the profs told me that I have now passed an age barrier where the above solution would very very hard to achieve, as when we get older it gets harder to maintain the sports level, and our metabolism also naturally slow down as well...so even harder to achieve, He claims that if i were to lose all the wieght at this age, i would probably have everything back by the time i turn 60.

So taking all of the above into consideration, I think I am making the best decision, with the gastric bypass solution.

Oh, I had spoken to the profs as well about possible other operations, similar to gastric bypass, like for instance the gastric band, a rubber band which is placed around the stomach. There are even newer and even less invasive techniques as well popping up. Prof said that the gastric bypass is now a thirty year old technique, improved with better technology over the years, but there is no other technique which delivers the same amount of history to build on. In other words, we now have people who have had this surgery thirty years ago and we know that they are still fine today, so it is a proven technique, there are little or no surprises left.
That is also why the prof said that, listen, this operation is a major operation, and it carries risks like any other major operation, but if you weigh these against future health risks, well, basically, he can't tell me what to do, but those are the facts.

And again, with the knowledge of all the above, what do you think? Am I not making the correct choice?

Today I am one month pre-operation.... In one month time it is my turn, a scary thought now, but hopefully I will be able to laugh it away at the next Christmas dinner :-)