Psychology 101

Today I am 23 days away from my operation. Thought it would be a good time to start the countdown :-)

From what I have already learned is that the weeks and months post operation are not exactly days and nights to look forward to. But then again, no post operation is exactly a fun time for anybody, so that didn't come as a surprise. In fact, there have been little or no surprises in my online research thus far, except then maybe the pre- and post operation pictures of people who have gone through the procedure. Some are truly not recognizable, very strange how much weight some have lost.

Again although no surprise, the diet after the operation is quite strict, no sugar, plenty protein, daily vitamins to take as extras for the body as the digestive tract has less possibilities to extract the necessary vitamins in the natural way. Apparently a lot of drinking will be needed as well, just like have seen some people do at Carnival, but in my case it will only be water, decaffeinated tea and that will be about it from what I understand so far.

One thing I have been told to watch out for is something called "gastric dumping". As the operation actually makes the stomach smaller, it can of course contain less food than before. If one eats too much, and the food doesn't fit in the pouch anymore, then the food gets pushed through into the intestines, but undigested of course....and that is a very painful experience apparently with stomach cramps.

I am sure that during the days immediately after my operation, I will care little for what, when and how much I get to eat, the weeks afterwards will be the challenge though. Apparently, that is one of the reasons why they employ the services of a psychologist on the team, to guide the patients through the period of behavioral change. People who are obese like me frequently would turn to food or sugars when they are happy or sad, when they want to party or rather cool down, when they are in company or when they want to be by themselves. It really is no different in my opinion to the person who smokes cigarettes or even worse, or the people who drink beers and stronger, or the people who become violent because they have no other exhaust for their energy or loneliness.

The psychologist comes in to make sure I can find other ways than food to deal with all of the above, but not including any other unhealthy vices as replacements of course. And that is important, because when I stopped smoking, that is when I gained weight after months. and continuing for years because I snacked instead of smoking. A positive note, is that they do some handholding to make sure the operation of this gastric bypass is not just the cutting and healing, but a process which is managed years after as well.

In fact, when speaking to the prof he told me already that I am due back in the hospital for check-ups on a very regular base after the operation, not just to check the physical healing, but also the emotional handling of it all. It starts two weeks post operation, then every month for the next six, then 6 months later again, then yearly for the next 5 years post operation. He told me though that most appointments are made way ahead of time, and in years 3,4, and 5 it is not uncommon that people don't show up or call in much later with much apologies, but they just forgot they ever had the operation, their new life is by then felt as "a completely normal life", just to show that normal life will return, but weighing less.

Do some people put back on weight? I have heard some do, but do not have any examples or references to fall back on at this time. I have heard of friends of peeps who have gone through the procedure that they were glad that their friends had put on a little bit of weight again, just to fill the deep pockets in the face as they looked like deflated balloons...lol...I am sure it will not go that far with me.

Ok, having shared that with you all, I am ready for the psychologist next week Friday, bring him on...lol ! You can post in the comments how many rounds you think this encounter will take and who will win...hahaha, wohoho...weeeee....YO... wow! Yipieee! ;-)

The Carnival experience

On a slightly lighter note, just to go off topic for a little while :

I cannot have a blog online, no matter of the main subject, and not talk about Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago.

This country "lives" for Carnival. It is THE main yearly EVENT that absolutely everybody looks forward to, but not all for the same reasons. I will explain.

Carnival is a mixture of different side events, starting no later than the day after Christmas, December  26th. Many will dispute the "start" of the Carnival event as such. Some claim it starts in August with the first presentations of the new carnival costumes for the coming year, others claim no Carnival should be mentioned until after the end of year festivities, others again claim Carnival starts with the first Carnival "fête" (which is the local word for a Carnival party)', whenever that happens. Technically though, Carnival is dependent on the Catholic religion, and tied to whenever Easter falls. I am not going to elaborate there though as it is better explained elsewhere on the net as soon as you google Carnival.

In my own opinion, here in Trinidad and Tobago, it starts on Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, for the simple reason that radio's seem to keep the new Carnival tunes on a low simmering fire and finally burst loose as soon as the last drops of Christmas liquor have been consumed, the last bits of Christmas turkey and ham have been cut, the last carols have been sung and the last gifts have been exchanged. On Boxing Day the new tunes hit the waves and Christmas is immediately been put on the back burner till next year. The temptation is big though to start playing the new tunes of Carnival of Barbados for example of the previous summer, and for the last couple of years i have noticed that the radio jocks seem to disregard that unwritten Boxing Day rule more and more, that is how hot this country is for Carnival!

Now, Carnival itself, again, technically is only two days, a Carnival Monday and a Carnival Tuesday, but the Carnival season may take months, weeks depending on when Easter falls. During that period, between Boxing Day and the actual Carnival days, numerous Carnival fetes are being held at all kinds of venues, all catering to different types of Carnival enthusiasts. All fetes will have music by local deejays, pushing the local music, some will have live performances of which some are more the playback type with live singing and then some show up with a complete band, brass, strings, drums included. Some fetes cater for the "oldies" crowds, some for the teenage groups and some are just a nice mix. Some have Soca music, others more of the Calypso kind, Bollywood style Chutney music is a newer show stealer and this year I even saw a stage with more Euro style Techno music. So there is really something for everybody.

Then there are the "all inclusive fetes" which is exactly as it says, it includes everything, the door entry price, the music, the foods as much as you fan eat (and are willing to stand in line for) and yes, all and any drinks. For the drinkers, this is heaven on earth as you will be able to sample (or drink yourself Lazarus, remember, it is as much as you want) local spirits and beers, rums, but also most of the popular international spirits, whiskies, vodkas, wines, champagnes and cognacs, you name it. Oh yes, and you can get water too, but I think most of Trinidadian Carnival Runners would agree totally with my old great-aunt's statement that water is for the ducks! Having said all of that, not everybody is a drinker, there are people who roam through all the parties high on fruit juices, elegant waters and soft drinks, but would be the exception to the general rule. In fact, there are very religious people who love Carnival, including some of my in-laws who totally enjoy Carnival without any alcoholic drinks whatsoever, no spirits, only spiritual entertainment!

These all-inclusive events are not cheap, but to international standards certainly not expensive, and if you do enjoy your drinks, they are definitely worthwhile, price-wise. There are also eents though where you just pay the cover price to get into the fête and then they have chit-systems where you buy chits and then use them to order drinks and/or foods as you wish.

Talking about foods, you will find all the local specialties, doubles, boiled corn, blue foods, wild meats, Arabic dishes, Chinese dishes, Indian dishes, Italian and Mexican specialties and the rare European dish or the American barbecue style dishes. In other words, unless you have problems standing in line, or if you can not eat standing up or if music and drinks have influenced you more than the smells of the dishes presented, it is hard to walk away from an all-inclusive event hungry. Generally it is not allowed to Cary foods outside the event area, else people would buy just one ticket and carry foods for the whole set of 20 friends outside of the event, but by the end of the party, you would still see the odd person with doubles or pies walking out with amounts which will either feed himself/herself for a whole week or make all the neighbors happy.

Besides the fetes, there are also other side events, there are musical shows, theatre, comedy shows and then there is the pan-playing competition which almost totally separately from the rest is held every year at Carnival to see which group is the champion for the year. There are small bands, medium bands and large bands, of which the latter, on stage, is actually quite impressive and I have not heard any recording, digital or otherwise, which even comes close to how that symphony of notes, beats and differently tuned pan instruments sound in a live performance. If you ever make it here, do not miss out on that! Also, these pan groups hold many training sessions in their own "pan yards", their home bases, where during weeks, many evenings before the competition, you can go and enjoy the pan music, just a bit different from the rest of the instruments, and take in surprisingly melodious tones when it all comes together in a perfect way!

Also not to miss, in my opinion, and I know many local Carnival enthusiasts would disagree with me if I see the poor attendance it gets, is the Carnival Queen and King competition. This is the part where small individual, medium and very large, mostly moving, sometimes lit up, costumes compete for the biggest, most enticing and impressive presence on stage. To me now, the preliminary rounds are the most fun, as just like with ice-skating, it is nice to see all the competitors, it is even better to see an aw-inspiring performance, but admit it, it is also kind of like "fun" to see one fail. And when I say "fun", I mean not if it hurts somebody, but it is just the aaaaahhhh and oooohhh effect from the audience which brings many back the next years.  

Before "The greatest show on earth", as they self proclaimed their Carnival, takes place, there is a mini version, yes, literally a mini version, with and for kids. In the category "cute" definitely the winner of the season. It is like a. Growing grounds for future Carnival players, with kids in all colors masks, made up faces, with special characters of Trinidad traditional mass like sailor's mass, devils, but also from "Pretty mass", pompously clad 19th century ladies.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, come the two high days of Carnival, Carnival Monday and Carnival Tuesday.
Monday morning, early o'clock, Carnival officially starts with "J'Ouvert", which is "opening" in French. This part of mass includes Juve players to assemble before the sun comes up and play dirty Mass, with mud, paint, liquid chocolate, you name it. Don't wear anything you treasure, cause afterwards, all you can do wth your clothing is frame it.

Later on Monday it is almost alike a general rehearsal for the next day. People go clothed in colors of the band they signed up with, sometimes in themed T-shirts and parade the streets in group, drinking, dancing, having fun, still passing the judging points where both the band and the chosen songs are noted and scored.
On Carnival Tuesday, the last day and the pinnacle of Carnival, everybody who signed up with a band comes on the streets, par ding in full ornate in front of the judges. They do this with a mix of sense of duty for the band to portray their characters well, but mostly with an all-out fun attitude, showing off the revelry they have been planning to the stage  to bring for the whole past year.

You would have noticed that in the beginning of this article, I did mention that EVERYBODY looks out for Carnival! Not everybody loves Carnival though, and I can imagine if I would be living along the official route of Carnival, or close to one of the most frequented Carnival fête grounds, then maybe I would dislike it as much as some do now. But, having said that,everybody seems to look forward to the Carnival time, wether it is to play in a band, just to watch as a bystander, wether it is to sell as a supplier or as a foods or drinks vendor, wether it is to make extra money in over hours as police or other agencies, or wether it is to take advantage and go away for a couple of days, off the island to a quiet place to recuperate from all the complaining about Carnival of the last year.

For me, honestly, I did not captivate Carnival at all when I was first confronted with it some 15 years ago, but over the years, under the expert guidance of my wife and her friends, I have started to appreciate one part of Carnival at a time. Now I would have to say that I am still not a fan of Carnival as in that I wouldn't really come back for it every year if it were only for me, but as you noticed, I do believe it is a worthwhile event for anybody to experience at least once in your lifetime, cause else you actually would have missed out on something grand in your life!

My 2nd life, thank you very much!

The whole idea of this intervention I am going to be going through is to start my second life.

I was actually quite fascinated by what my professor told me during my interview and questions and answers session with him. He explained thAt at one point in my life I would have deviated from my normal life expectancy in years as I grew bigger and fatter and more obese. For instance, if I had never become obese, suppose my life expectancy in "normal" circumstances would have been 80 years, then now after being obese it might have been diminished quite a bit, to let's say 70 or maybe even less years.
By doing this gastric bypass surgery, and by then losing most of the excess weight in the months and years following, I would actually return to my original life expectancy, as if I had never been obese or overweight in my life. In my example that would mean I can expect to become 80 again.
It means, and he clarified, that there is actually no "penalty" for having been obese or for having eaten improperly in previous years.
Today is Ash-Wednesday in the Catholic religion, as I am writing this article. And I  can't help but think of the forgiveness part in this religion. You know what I mean... if you have behaved bad in the past, although maybe not always completely  through your own fault, you can be forgiven if you decide to confess. I kind of feel a bit the same way now, I have confessed that I am overweight, that I have not been eating correctly, that I have splurged when I probably shouldn't have, but at the same time it was also my body type that played a role as well. And now that I have confessed, I kind of get forgiveness from my own body, and it will sustain me till the day I was originally destined to die. Kind of neat, if you come to think of it!
But what kind of a life will I be going back to? From what I understand, those first days, weeks, if not months after the operation are not exactly times to look forward to. Painful days ahead, learning a new diet, teaching myself new habits, physical pain. But I have been through al of that already once before, although not all together. Stopping smoking has been an episode of new habits, new ways of looking at life after the cancer sticks in the hand to rely on. Having had the gal bladder removed last year also gave me an idea of the physical pain to be endured, and it is honestly all manageable, or should I call it tolerable?
I have found some nice people Twitter and other websites who have been giving me some previews of what to expect, 1 month post operation and 3.5 months post operation. Nothing again really to look forward to, except then what I keep seeing on the other websites, the before and after pics of people who went through the procedure. Wow if you see those results! It is even a bit of a scary thought seeing myself as a new me after this procedure. One year from now I think that some people who may know me very well may not even recognize me if I change like the people I saw on some of those websites.
So what am I looking forward to then? I am looking forward to move around like any other average person my age, do sports and maybe even excel in one or two again. I look forward to going into stores and buy clothing from the rack, knowing my own new size and them actually having it in stock! I am looking forward to buying a suit without major modifications. I look forward to being less tired, with more energy, although I understand that in the weeks and months post operation it may be even a big challenge to find any energy at all.
In other words, I feel like I am now prepping for a second life in some form, I am being offered a chance to change another one of my bad habits, I just hope I take full advantage of it, that my character proves to hold up just like when I quit my nicotine habit 13 years ago.
Wish me luck :-)

New places where the sun don't shine.

In preparation of this upcoming surgery I have to meet a number of professionals in the medical field for them to assess my complete program, my operation, healing process and guidance after.

I have already had blood tests doe, another day at the bloodsuckers department of the hospital...lol, recall, I was just in there last year and they pricked me so many times in arms and hands that they had no other options left anymore than to stick me in the feet. All my veins were already damaged in the arms and hands. So wasn't looking too much forward to this time, but all went fine, a little more painful than usual, but they hit then source with the first needle prick, which was good news in itself.

Then I had to get my lungs tested, had to go and blow in a machine which tested my lung capacity, and passed that with flying colors. The machine reminded me of an alcohol test (which they might have tested as well without telling me, lol...), but have never done such an alcohol test on the road, only seen it on TV, but that's okay, don't need the experience again, hospital version was quite satisfactory and I will count it as enough experience for now, thank you very much!

After that I had an appointment in the plastic surgeon' office. Was really wondering a bit what they would be doing there with me. I had concluded that as I would be losing a significant amount of weight over only one year, I would probably have an excess of skin which might need treatment of a plastic surgeon, I didn't know, so was kind of curious.
Turned out they just wanted to take pictures of me, hey (!) my very first "professional" photo shoot! I felt I was going places! So first a full frontal, then a profile, which I thought probably would be the less flattering of the two as my belly does reach beyond my belt buckle.
And then naked... What? Yep, well, almost then.... First time a woman other than my wife asked me to strip in front of her, I was alone in the room with her. Apparently I was smiling at the situation, cause she started smiling as well and asked me why I was smiling. She probably also noticed my face getting as red as her hair as I now stood in front of her, with only my boxer shorts.
She sat in front of me, on a barstool kind of chair, the swiveling kind, and suddenly reached forward to pull my boxers down. Yes, she did...ok, so not all the way down you perverts, she stopped under the curly hairline, but above the firehouse by means of a speaking...she said she wanted to see as much as possible on the picture. I though, yeah, if the roles had been the other way around I probably would have used the same excuse, professionally speaking of course!
After she had taken the pics, I dressed and le the room. They were doing some renovations on that floor and those guys saw this redhead nurse leave the room first, me minutes after with a red head and shirt probably still hanging out a bit.... I just saw their thoughts in their eyes!
Mind you, the red headed lady wasn't exactly miss universe 2012 eh... Well, like I am not mr. Universe either, you know! In this hospital the best looking women walking around (whenever my wife is not around, that speaks for itself!) seem to be the female doctors. The nurses are almost all extremely friendly, very helpful, most are very good at their jobs but not the soap series lookers of a nurse...

Last step for me that day was the anesthesiologist (thank god for spell checkers). Waited in the hallway for a good 40 minutes, thought after a while the doc had maybe turned the wrong valve in the office and gotten himself to fall asleep. But finally a door opened and another patient came out, door stayed open, and I was called in. Ok, so here's my luck, the first more than average good looking person I get the deal with and it's my anesthesiologist ...just my luck... Next times I am going to interact with her i will be sleeping away the hours, much to the joy and delight of my wife of course.
Got some good news and some bad news from her. Good news was that she had gotten results dorm my earlier tests that day and that all seems to be very a-ok! We are set to GO for the operation. Then she explained the procedure of the anesthesiology, what they will do to me during the operation, what tubes they will insert where etc.... And what to expect when I wake up, like the tube in my penis !!! Hello? Yes, what? Keeping my cool,she explains she, or rather her "team", which I now envision as a big tall hairy guy in my nightmares, or even two of them, will insert a tube into my penis so I don't have to get up to pee immediately after the operation. I nod with probably a clowneske expression on my face as to say:"but of course!"'.... Any other questions? I quickly said no and left the office before she comes with ideas where to put even more tubes yes! I am now expecting my wife having called that doc before my visit to scare the well, "P" out of me... I also looked for the candid camera and was ready to sign the re
Lease document for them to show my clip....but nothing of the sort...a tube it will be!

So that was my adventure at the hospital, the day before we left on holidays. Yes, I am with my wife in the Caribbean for the moment, but days after I get back, I still have appointment for a gastroscopy, oh I am so looking forward to that...NOT! Also scheduled to meet a psychologist, the bets are now on to see who leaves that office in a better mental state after our meeting. I have an insider tip for you if you are a betting person!
And then, my favorite people in the world, I am also due to meet with a dietician. Oh my God, have I had fun with those people in my younger years. In school we had a yearly visit to a doctor and a talk with a dietician was on my schedule eve time. The funniest part was to see the dietician fatter and fatter every year, and her admin people always winked at me as if to say "you survived her nonsense for another year?".

So stick around, fun times ahead, will keep you up to date!    

I didn't say it - read it yourself

Real or Urban Myth? The Gastric Bypass Ripple Effect
one welcome 'side effect' of gastric bypass surgery: friends and family of the patient usually lose weight too!

More than 350,000 people have had LAP-BAND surgery. Another ~200,000 have gastric bypass each year. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy is the fastest growing obesity surgery, and the new gastric plication, or "pleat" - an evolution of reflux surgery that accomplishes stomach restriction without device implantation or resection - is being hailed as the future gold standard king of the weight loss surgeries. Is this too many people having surgery instead of losing it by less drastic and invasive means (that are not without significant risk).

In Prevention Magazine (August 2011) Dr. Oz focused on weight loss, physical activity, and better sex and overall health. And while some might guess that a physician would be against surgical intervention for weight loss except in extreme cases, that is not the case with Dr. Oz, who says that "we are probably only performing about 1% of the gastric bypass surgeries that we should".

Dr. Oz calls himself an advocate for gastric bypass surgery in reducing the national BMI and stemming the devastating tide of maladies associated with "diabesity", saying he thinks that obesity surgeries will play a major role in people gaining control of their diets and lives.

He points out that a 50-year-old who is ~100lbs overweight has the same mortality rate "as if you have a solid cancer'" (that sounds pretty horrible, doesn' tit? I know, I paused when I read that too - ugh). Dr. Oz points out that in the case of the cancer patient, no one would hesitate to operate...so why hesitate on the obese patient, whose at just as much if not more risk of premature death.

In the world of Oz, if a person cannot lose the weigh on their own, that person should have a weight loss surgery. Do it with counseling and a complete clarity of understanding regarding the permanent changes in your eating and even lifestyle, but do it because "if you get people to start losing 5% of their excess body weight, you're really taking a big whack out of the two-thirds of Americans."

Allow me to expand that tot non-Americans as well - my own note

Source : http://www.squidoo.com/Stopping-diabetes-before-it-stops-you

Other considerations - the genes factor

Other considerations -the Genes thing

There have been some other considerations in coming to the conclusion that gastric bypass may be the solution to my current and possible, or rather probable future problems. When my father read my first blog post he said that I should mention him as well, in fact he wrote me:"You can, you know!".

Physically, body-wise, I am almost a copy of my father, and don't understand me wrong, I am proud of it. In fact, we both are in some ways copies of his father too, my grandfather. We are not too tall, but not exactly short, broad shoulders, wide hands, short fingers, with a waist and middle of the body which expands further than most. We look big, but not morbidly obese like some of the people who are seen on those shows.
This body type though brings a number of problems with it, exactly those which I mentioned that my prof warned me for.... Diabetes at later age, blood pressure problems and with those two as a nice base, a whole list of other problems tend to emerge.

My dad has worked hard his whole life, spent many hours at work every day and now that he is at an age where he should be able to profit from those years of work, his body gave up on him, step by step, with diabetes and blood pressure being the major players. He now has to spend half a day a week just preparing his pills for the week to come, one pill sometimes to negate the negative effects of the previous one. He sits at the table, with lists and boxes of pills and fills plastic containers with his morning, lunch and evening pills for the week to come. He in fact takes pills five times a day, try to beat that!
On top of all of the problems he has, he also has been suffering from sleep apnea for the last two decades. In fact, he was one of the people in the early batches treated by professors for this disease. When he was diagnosed, sleep apnea was not as commonly know as it is today. It basically means he has to sleep with a machine next to his bed which forces wind through the windpipe, as he would not be able to breathe by himself whilst asleep and probably suffocate in his sleep. And here we go withe the genes again, apparently my great grandmother was diabetic as well, as is my father's sister, as was my cousin.
My father also has to take pills which he has adopted as his P-pills, which have him urinating frequently during most of the day with only like ten minute breaks in-between toilet visits. He has to take those P-pills two days out of three. That makes that he now has to plan his week accordingly for anything else he wants to do, including shopping, doctors visits, visiting friends or even have friends visiting him. He now has one grandson, and he and my mother have the grandson at home for one day a week, but even that he he has to plan ahead of time, it really isn't all that easy.
And then there is his heart, had problems since birth with taht one, but also suffered from irregulat heart beats and high bloodpressure at times.
I totally admire how he keeps this life going, and I realize very well that if it were just for himself he may have given up already, but the fighter he has always been, and the provider for the family he has been, he doesn't give up that easily. He wants to be there for all of us, including his only grandchild, grandson. We all love him dearly and hope he sticks around for many more.

But emotions aside, what I see in my dad now, will probably not be far from my reality unless I change things for myself. So now I have some choices, some options presented to me.

To the contrary of popular belief, I do not eat big heaps of food, in fact, I eat very little and may even skip meals from time to time if I am not hungry. I will wholeheartedly admit I eat "wrong" though, I eat what isn't the healthiest of foods and I am also a sugar junkie, carbonated rinks, candy, chocolate and the finer combinations of all as well. So obviously, option number one is to cut all of that and then I will lose the weight. Easier said than done, and probably impossible if "we" are totally honest about that. Have done it in the past, but gradually all comes back, after months or even years.

Do more sports, people tell me. Yes, an option, but not easy either as doing sports with my body isn't that easy to start with, and injuries would become plenty as I am quite competitive when I do sport. And sport makes me hungry, so vicious circle if you ask me, and not my solution.

But to be honest, in cutting all the good stuff out of my life and adding plenty sports, eating only what is healthy, I think i probably could ( ok, let's be honest, I KNOW I could) achieve the same results over time as the gastric bypass surgery could bring me.

Two things though:

1) I know somebody who lives that way and although he seems happy with it, I really don't think I could be, the way he lives.

2) One of the profs told me that I have now passed an age barrier where the above solution would very very hard to achieve, as when we get older it gets harder to maintain the sports level, and our metabolism also naturally slow down as well...so even harder to achieve, He claims that if i were to lose all the wieght at this age, i would probably have everything back by the time i turn 60.

So taking all of the above into consideration, I think I am making the best decision, with the gastric bypass solution.

Oh, I had spoken to the profs as well about possible other operations, similar to gastric bypass, like for instance the gastric band, a rubber band which is placed around the stomach. There are even newer and even less invasive techniques as well popping up. Prof said that the gastric bypass is now a thirty year old technique, improved with better technology over the years, but there is no other technique which delivers the same amount of history to build on. In other words, we now have people who have had this surgery thirty years ago and we know that they are still fine today, so it is a proven technique, there are little or no surprises left.
That is also why the prof said that, listen, this operation is a major operation, and it carries risks like any other major operation, but if you weigh these against future health risks, well, basically, he can't tell me what to do, but those are the facts.

And again, with the knowledge of all the above, what do you think? Am I not making the correct choice?

Today I am one month pre-operation.... In one month time it is my turn, a scary thought now, but hopefully I will be able to laugh it away at the next Christmas dinner :-)

What was day 1 like?

When was day ONE for me? If in think back, it was honestly many years ago.

I am turning 46 next week, but when I was about twenty years old I had already visited a plastic surgeon to see if we could have my extra fat sucked out of my body.I was "bigger" than other, I had man breasts which was highly embarrassing in at swimming with the class and obviously was not as attractive to girls like my friends.

Today the story is somewhat different. I am happily married for 13 years and have had a great life together in different parts of the world. I have been able to travel alot and am generally a very happy person.

Last year I suddenly got a pancreatic crises and a second just months after. I was also in the process of moving to another country, make that another continent, and had a crisis in each. Both professors, in both countries, and with only months apart, then suddenly started talking to me about having a gastric bypass done, just so, out of the blue.

This time though, it was not me that started those thoughts, it was not for beauty purposes, but rather for survival purposes. They both said i should consider it as i am in a weight/height category that applies for such an operation. 

So am I this grossly overweight person? Well, at least I never saw myself as such, but I am definitely quite overweight according to the stats and graphs.
But how does one start thinking about doing such an operation?
Well, I did have those two pancreatic crises, and I did also have my gall bladder removed as it was deemed to be the cause of the pancreatic crises, but a apart from that I am relatively healthy.

Thing is, as both profs tried to explain to me, it is actually difficult even as a professor to tell a quasi healthy person to have an operation when the person is not in immediate risk of dying or anything such. God forbid, but if I had cancer for example, it would technically be an easier decision to have an operation as it is clear we are going to try to remove the "bad stuff" to "hopefully get better".
In my case though, as I said before, I am kind of healthy and have to make a decision to actually go and have a possibly risky operation to allow cutting and pasting inside my body to possibly prevent other problems later on in life.

If I have the operation it is risky in the sense that it a)is full anesthetics which always carries risks and b) it really is a literal bypass, they make your stomach smaller and create a bypass tube through which food bypasses the small intestines and as such does not get ingested by the body. You would have to agree that knowing the procedure, it would carry certain risks, no matter how much experience they have etc...

But NOT doing the operation also carries risks like a certainty of getting diabetes at an even later age (in fact I am lucky I do not have it as yet), combined with a certainty of blood pressure problems (that has started already, but isn't too bad as yet). But get those two problems on board in you body and then you may just as well get a fresh sheet of paper to list al the other problems which accompany these first two years after.

Ha! OK, so that was the decision I was facing!!!!

Essentially, they have convinced me essentially that NOT doing the operation would actually carry more risks than doing the operation.

Today I am a month and a couple of days away from the actual operation as I write this. Follow this blog if you want to know how the rest went. I will share my thoughts, possible fears, my anxieties and my glee and if all goes well, with the necessary humor as i will never forget what one of my docs once had in their waiting room on their message board:"laughing yourself to pieces is actually healthy!" and to date I am still a big time believer in that!