It is 6 o'clock in the evening the day before the the day of the operation. I was told i could eat whatever i want before the operation, but that i would only be allowed what i get from the hospital from the time i check in.
That was a pretty good deal i found, as i had heard about others having to diet for weeks or even months prior to the operation. As said previously, the only drawback of having the operation earlier meant that i was missing out on a weekend full of comfort food which i had planned, but at the end, that was a small thing to give up for the benefits i was going to receive by this operation.
I checked into the hotel, sorry, the hospital at around 4PM and, said goodbeys to wifey who departed on her transatlantic flight. Tried to get myself well installed by putting my stuff away in the locker cupboard and side table so i would be able to reach what i needed from bedside without having to move too much. Checked how far i could reach with the left arm and the right arm. Was smart enough to bring my own extension cable to connect my Blackberry and new Ipad easily to the wall from bedside. Ha! Learned that from the last visit!
I did not carry any snacks for this overnight adventure, so i found myself traveling quite light this time. Had underwear, tshirts, socks, slippers, toilet bag and some other stuff maybe to, but only needed the last two as i was to be dressed in a hospital shirt (only) anyhow for the operation and days after it, so i was told. Talking about the hospital shirt... So here's me, not grossly over obese like some other people i have seen, checking in for a gastric bypass. Now, as a nurse you know you have two sizes of shirts, big and medium... Are you really going to ask me to pu on a medium? Thanks for the compliment, lol, but really....lol! Now, note that all those shirts only close with one small button at the back, that is, if the two pieces at the back can reach each other, else guess who was mooning my sweet old man neighbor? Yes, so i asked for the bigger version of the shirt, wouldn't want my neighbor to suddenly get very talkative for the wrong reasons, now would i!
Hold on there, i forgot to introduce my "neighbor" in the room. Last time i was bedridden in this room i had a young fellow as a neighbor, not too talkative, he never got any visitors and had told me his wife was pregnant and he had a kid which was overactive. He was cool, even exchanged numbers when he left, but we never stayed in touch.
This time i appeared to have somebody in the room who was considerably older than me. He stayed quiet in his corner, the nurses told him he is getting a new neighbor as i walked into the room. All i got was half a smirk. Nevertheless , i pleasantly wished him a very good evening, he wished me back the same. It was clear that we were not going to become bosom friends or anything like that, but i didn't mind, as long as he stayed reasonably silent at night i would not have a problem.
Now for something else, check this...not only did my wife have to go traveling whilst i have the operation, she also had to leave me behind with the notion that one of the cuter nurses had recognized me from last year's operation.... hahaha, hum, ok, so that was not funny, strike the laughter from the notes, your honor! Feather in their hat though that they recognize people they have dealt with in the past. Some of the other nurses were unsure if they should recognize me or not, they thought they did, but maybe from the grocery, ballet class, the swimming pool maybe? Ok, scrap ballet class, i definitely do not look like a guy who visits ballet classes that often, but still, some looked at me with a "like i have to know you, but i don't know from where" look. Anyhow, was fun to see that some did remember me, my wife did not appreciate it as much as i did though.
Now i was starting to get hungry, but i am focused! I will NOT walk down to the cafeteria to snack on something. As those thoughts were going through my mind somebody knocked on the door, in came the kitchen people with my last meal. Hmmm, my "last meal" eh? No, i think not, i will accept it as the last one pre-operation, and i am sticking with that! So lets see what i got, potatoes with minced meat rolled into a sliver of veal and green string beans. It all tasted quite alright, even got a small desert with it and washed it all down with a healthy glass of mineral water of an excellent year 2012!
I noticed my neighbor didn't get any food. Felt sorry for him and didn't dare to talk to him about the food because i did not know how he would react. We actually did not speak to each other for the rest of the evening, he stayed hidden behind the curtain that separated our two beds, but i did catch him peeping sometimes to my side of the room. We'll see, i thought, how it goes next days, i was pretty selfish at this time, just concentrating on eating my meal, making sure i don't overeat, over drink and that i chew everything plenty. Not that i had been told to do so, but it just made good sense to me. I was being at my best behavior and did not want anything to disturb this yoga type of mental state i had put myself into for the operation. I was focused, stress free and determined. I turned on the TV and the choices were french, italian, german, even arabic stations if i wanted, oh, yes, and also CNN and CNBC in english, you know, those two stations with exhilarating programming which can keep you occupied for hours if need be, yeah right...lol
Aaaand here's my brother, he arrived. Flew in just to come and keep me company. The best brother in the world! Brought me greets and magz from back home. He was allowed to keep me company for a couple of hours, then i sent him home by me where i arranged some baby back ribs for him. Dare i say, slightly better menu than i got...hahaha
Anyhow, it was almost 9h30PM now. Again common sense prevailed, gotta go to sleep because i know they are waking me up the next morning at 5AM and maybe they will even come and disturb ole grumpy and me in the middle of the night for vitals of my dear neighbor. I was right. 2AM reaches way too quick to my liking, grumpy got his vitals taken, nurses back out, me back to sleep, yes!
Lights on, it's 5AM, wake up time in military school, in prisons and yes, for me in hospital as well! Nurse comes to my bedside to ask me if i want to go and shower as i am being picked up at 7AM for the operation. Ooooh, yes, that's what i am here for? An operation? Yeah, duh! Well, got myself up, proudly assembled everything i needed for shower and change. Remember? I had stowed away everything properly last night? Was as proud as Mr. Bean would have looked, with a big smile on my face, ready for that shower! Oh, let's first check what size shirt i got to change into, cause did not feel like getting out of the bathroom half naked to beg for a bigger shirt! Ok, shirt is good! Then nurse tells me i cannot use my own soap, have to use a special anti-bacterial soap from the hospital, no deodorants, no perfumes, but was allowed to brush my teeth! So there i was, all ready with my properly stuffed toilet bag and all i was allowed to use was my own toothbrush and toothpaste...oh, well!
Mr. Grumpy had not been asked to go and wash himself, i figured by then he had had his operation already, but what? I was in the visceral section of the hospital, i figured it wasnt the same as me, unless he lost 40 kgs in the last three days since his operation, which was extremely unlikely. I would, i figured, find out at some point what had happened to him.
Anyhow, back to me! Have showered, am clean, new shirt, so just went on the bed to wait now for the butchering hour. Minutes passed, plenty of them and then there was a next knock on the door. No kidding, i am in Geneva, it is 7 o'clock on the dot! These Suise don't make joke with heir timing! It was my "driver". This hospital is so big that they have a department of drivers who do nothing else but drive patients around the hospital on their beds. It is taken very serious, as these drivers actually have training and practical exams to do before they are allowed on the corridors with patients in those big beds. I can also see why, those beds are huge, wide and heavy. If you bounce anything, the patient will get whiplashed and the object hit would suffer too. As i was being "driven" to my operating room, i could not help but satisfy my inner curiosity by asking the fellow how long it takes an average person to learn the location of all the departments of the hospital, all the test rooms, all the lab rooms and investigation areas for patients. He told me about two months, just for this department of the hospital, but it can take up to a year to get to know the whole hospital. Wow! Had i had a drink available i would have called for a CHEERS with the glass up in the air hoping he brings me to the correct operating room so they don't bring me wrongly into a room where they try a cesarian on me trying to find a baby in my big belly!
Anyhow, it seems like i reached the anestethic's room, the one next to the operating room, this is it, so it seems, it's going to happen.
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